As you take your first tentative steps into motherhood, it can be difficult to work out how to be the best parent you can be. Motherhood doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and your newborn little cherub is unable to tell you exactly what it is he or she needs in their first few months of life. Working out how to be a good mom takes time, and you will make mistakes as you strive to provide the best upbringing for your offspring. However, your motivations and intentions for actually wanting to be the best mom you can show just how much you unconditionally love your child.
The media now places a variety of ‘supermoms’ on pedestals for all of us normal folk to aspire to. You have the celebrity moms who dress their little darlings in designer clobber, educate them at the finest private schools and still somehow manage to look stunningly beautiful. At the other end of the scale, we have those working moms who seemingly juggle three little human beings with the demands of being CEO of a market leading global company. What you need to realize is that these are not the norm. They have broken with reality to create a perception of excellence that is largely unattainable. You need to think about the qualities required of a good mom. You want your child to be happy, feel secure, be emotionally cared for and be surrounded by nothing but unconditional love. If you can achieve this, then you are doing a spectacular job of raising your child.
Being a good mom isn’t about following a standard ‘how to’ guide. You need to discover your own formula to be the best mom you can be.
- Be Confident
This is easier said than done, but you need to dig deep and find an inner belief that what you are doing is more than good enough. Even if Jimmy at school has already learned all of his times tables and knows cursive handwriting, whereas your little mite is lagging behind a bit, don’t worry. All children develop at different speeds, and just because Jimmy’s mom loves nothing better than telling you about her cherub’s latest achievement, it doesn’t mean that you are doing anything wrong. Keep in focus the most important things. Ensure that your child is loved and doesn’t feel any sense of parental pressure from you.
- It’s Not All About The Money
It is largely irrelevant whether you are stinking rich or just about making do. As long as you put your child at the center of every financial decision you make, you can feel confident that you are earning your good mom stripes. Children are fickle beings, and even though they may crave the latest console or tablet, they also understand the limits of their parents’ financial capabilities. To smother your child in material things won’t teach them any important life lessons and could see you with a spoiled little gremlin in the making. Instead, save the large material gestures for birthdays, Christmases and special occasions. This way, they will value their gifts more and learn to value the finer things in life.
- Look Within
To be a good mom, you need to feel happy as a human being. You are not solely a mother now. You are still a wife, a daughter, a friend, and an individual. Don’t lose sight of this. Sometimes we need to do a little bit of work on ourselves to enhance our own well being before we can concentrate on our other roles in life. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out some alone time by finding a retreat, a spa or a detox treatment. Sometimes we need to better ourselves and return to our daily lives with a renewed enthusiasm for everything life has to throw at us, rather than being scared of life’s inevitable challenges.
- Learn To Communicate
As your child grows up, you will inevitably have to change the way you communicate with them. Everyone remembers the phase they went through as an adolescent when they merely grunted in response to any question asked of them and enjoyed spending time in their bedroom rather than with their family. Your offspring will go through these same phases. It’s natural. Don’t think that this is abnormal or that you have done anything wrong. Just be there for your child and show them that they are loved. Ask to meet their friends, enquire about the movie they are watching, and you never know they may respond in kind, eager to spend just a little bit more time with you. No matter what stage a child is at in their life, they always relish attention from their parents.
- When Things Go A Little Awry
Childhood, like motherhood, is full of ups and downs. Your child may be one of those adolescents that tries a cigarette, gets into a fight at school or falls in with the wrong crowd for a little bit. It can be a tricky balancing act trying to be a disciplinarian and a supportive shoulder. You need to set boundaries and stick to them come what may. This may lead to an argument or two, but your child will thank you for it in the long run. Over time you will come through any difficult times closer than ever and with a newfound respect for one another.
- Don’t Turn Into One Of Those Parents You Despise
We all know the parents at the school gates that we can’t bear; those moms who put untold pressure on their kids to succeed, get an ‘A’ in every test and come top of the class. These are the children that will end up with low self-esteem and confidence issues as they grow older. However much you want your child to succeed academically, you need to understand that this isn’t always the appropriate route for everyone. Your child may be exceptionally gifted at sport, enjoy the realms of acting or dancing, or they may enjoy being more practical. A vocational career may be the route most suited to them. Whatever niche they find themselves falling into, don’t judge their choice based on your high expectations. Be their greatest supporter, champion their efforts and be a beacon of encouragement. This truly shows off your supermom credentials.
Being a good mom can be tough. However, the fact that you are here reading this post is evidence in itself that you want to be the best parent you can be. Try not to be so hard on yourself, surround your child with love and enjoy the rollercoaster that motherhood has you riding.